28 Aug 2009 – And then the fear.
August 28, 2009 § 6 Comments
And then the next night there’s a little fluid. Not blood, but something dark grey. Lau super scared. This was 3:00 am. It didn’t seem like the beginning of a miscarriage–that’s something you would just have to know–but we’re both feeling alone and not sure about anything. I was wearing my headlamp so we wouldn’t wake up Layla. It seemed like we were camped out in a hotel, a foreign place.
“I’m not ready for this,” Lau said.
I told her it would be alright.
This morning we found out this kind of fluid loss is ‘normal’ in the first weeks of a pregnancy.
She just needs to rest in the bed and make sure there’s no increase.
This morning I asked Layla if she understood what was going on, and that Mamá needed to rest. She said “yes. “Mama baby.” She pointed to her stomach, then my stomach, then her doll Tall Guy’s stomach.
“I need you to be a big girl now,” I said.
“Layla big,” she said.